Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Which Country's Best Yogurt?

Tonight was 31 cent scoop night at Baskin & Robbins, and I'm missing out on it due to complicated reasons, so I have to settle for just writing about it. Come to think of it, I haven't been inside a Baskin & Robbins since I moved to Ontario from the states, which was over a year ago. Actually, I don't even remember going into any ice cream parlor since my childhood. The last time I even thought about Baskin & Robbins was while watching Super Size Me, about how the founders of the chain died from heart related illnesses resulting from the mass consuption of their own product.

Another ice cream parlor I remember from my childhood was TCBY: The Country's Best Yogurt. Now, claiming that your yogurt was the best in the whole country was a pretty bold statement, and as a kid, to me it sounded impressive and I didn't give it much thought. But since moving to Canada, and seeing the same ice cream chain here, I ask myself, "Which country were they talking about?" You can't have a parlor claiming to have the country's best yogurt in both Canada and the US, it just doesn't work like that. Then they would have to change their name to The Continents Best Yogurt. And no, I haven't forgotten Mexico, it's just that yogurt from there would not sound as inticing. Plus, I don't even know anyone that buys yogurt at TCBY's, all I've ever had there was ice cream.

Back to the 31 cent scoop deal, I learned from my girlfriend who attended, that 2 was the maximum amount of scoops you could have. I don't know if this is the exact number, but if so that is completely bogus. By emphasizing that each scoop will only cost a measly 31 cents, you're leading people to believe that they can have as many as they want. Personally, I would have taken at least 5.

So thanks Baskin & Robbins, for turning a delicious sounding proposition into a marketing scheme just to have people drag their asses to your store. Hey, maybe they'll buy a milkshake, or a hot-fudge sundae while they're at it? Or maybe instead they'll just go to The Continent's Best Yogurt, and buy the ice cream instead.

Oh Noes, swine flu!!

So last night while my mom was watching the news, she started talking to me about the swine flu epidemic and asking if I knew anyone that had recently been to Mexico. Amused at how serious she was, I started joking around and asked what would happend if I caught it and was quarantined. She said that I would be locked away in a hostpital, have experiments conducted on me, and eventually turned into an X-Men. I then pictured myself lunging out of an adamantium pool with metal spikes coming out of my knuckes, screaming, "What have you done to me?!", but with a pig's head of course.

"Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML"