A few Sundays ago as I was mowing the lawn I noticed a bumble-bee swiftly hovering above the blades of grass I was about to decapitate. As I aproached, I figured it was probably low enough for me to runover, so I lifted the front wheels of the lawn-mower and charged ahead. The bumble-bee swerved away, and before the lawn-mower's front wheels had dropped back on the grass, I had already jumped away from the scene as the yellow menace came at me.
Later, after I had filled the tank up with gas, I forgot to screw the cap back on. When I started it up, the lawn-mower transformed into a fountain, ejaculating gasoline a foot high. I took this as a big "Screw you!" from mother nature and proceeded on with my day.
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